Now I know 2 whole swim strokes.

I'll never get used to water unexpectedly dripping out of my ear or nose 3 hours after I've been out of a pool. It's disgusting and unnerving, but I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise. These are unsealed orifices that are being submerged in water after all. I'm sure it will be hilarious when someone accidentally slips on some excess nose water that has been dribbled near the office water cooler. Hey... we live in a dangerous world.

Speaking of living on the edge, I've finally graduated from the Level 1 (i.e. slow) lane to Level 2 (i.e a bit too fast for me) lane during team swim practice.

A little less than 30 minutes into drills, with my lungs burning like Tommy Chong's secret stash, both calves cramping up, and my right contact lens aimlessly floating around my eyeball... I did something that I didn't realize was humanly possible. I was closing in on the swimmer ahead of me, not because I was swimming well... but because we were supposed to do some sort of special drill which I had no idea how to do... so I just swam normally. Anyways, before my head smacked into this person's feet I instinctively pulled my head out of the water, bent my legs like Kermit the Frog, and jabbed my elbows out while pushing water to the side.

Like a caveman discovering fire or a dog bravely climbing stairs for the first time, I had achieved what most 6 year olds learn on their second day of swim practice. I learned the breaststroke . And without arm floaties no less.